The endeavor to becoming our best self is not a solo journey. We often try and sincerely believe that if we were good enough, we could be this best version without anyone’s assistance. Andy Stanley says it best, “You may be good, you may even be better than everyone else. But without outside input you’ll never be as good as you can be.”
Like all living things we need nutrients from outside of ourselves to grow and develop and be healthy. From the moment we are born we are dependent on outside involvement. We need more than physical care; we must have the nourishment that comes from connection with others. This vital connection strengthens us emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. The involvement and connection with others is a source of life and energy.
One of the richest nutrients we receive is when others express and demonstrate their belief in us. The power of this belief can energize our mind and soul, awaken potential, and summon courage to overcome challenges and achieve our full potential.
During my sophomore year of college, I received this form of nourishment from my father in a letter. With clear and powerful words, he expressed his belief in me and what he spoke changed me in the best possible way. Here are some highlights of the letter.
“There is no doubt in my mind that you have the physical, mental, and spiritual qualities to succeed in any venture…
I have no concern about what ‘road’ you select to travel whether it is business or religious work…
I have no doubt you will be successful…
I’d like to share my lifetime of experience to help you avoid pitfalls…
Jim, I am very proud of you and love you very much. Dad”
The impact of these words was life changing. The power of these words continues to strengthen me. I am grateful he took the time to speak these affirmations to me. This positive connection of another created a relationship that empowered me to achieve more of my potential in many areas of life.
In his newest book, The Power of the Other, Dr Henry Cloud explains our need to have people in our corner as the key to becoming our best: “When you get the power of the other on your side, you can surpass whatever limit you are currently experiencing or will ever experience in the future.”
Ways to be “The Other”
- Believe the Best– People have a tendency to to live up to expectations, so help them live up to their best.
- Speak affirmation of potential not only performance– It’s easy to criticize and notice mistakes. Observe and call attention to the possibilities that will lead to success. When correction is needed, be sure to conclude with an affirmation of their true potential.
- Commit to Facilitate Success- Be more than a cheering section; freely share thoughts/ideas/suggestions that will make a contribution for success.
- Remain present (in their corner) in times of failure. Failure is inevitable. Those who have people who remain in their corner will overcome failure and continue to move toward success.
- People can only be their best with the ongoing participation of others in their lives. There is great reward in creating a winning team at life and work by being the “other” in someone’s corner.
Action Steps:
Think of the people who have believed in you and the impact it had on you. Then take time to thank them with a phone call or note of appreciation.
Consider whom you can impact with the power of believing and begin sharing your belief this week.